Tyson Daniels and Kathy Hubbard kept the suicide awareness and prevention night moving last week on Tuesday evening.  The event, which seems to have grown in size and ambition every year since it was first started, was held at the Event Center this year in order to accommodate the large numbers, and allow for information tables from many sponsors and community groups looking to share their positive message of support.

A scavenger hunt, organized by Rachel Madsen and with prizes donated by many local businesses, was held during the early part of the evening.  This allowed guests to explore each of the tables, find out what they had to say, and collect scavenger hunt elements.  

The Malad High School Culinary students and FCCLA, under the direction of Shantel Tavoian, served a dinner of walking tacos and other refreshments.  Volunteers from the school also helped take down and put up chairs and tables.  

The event ended with a mile and a half walk to the cemetery to visit the Million Broken Hearts monument, which was a project driven by the efforts of Jill Vanderwood.  The monument memorializes those who had died by suicide, as well as domestic violence and accidental causes.  The monument reads: “Each life that is ended through violence, suicide, or accidental death leaves behind a million broken hearts.” 

Kathy Hubbard extended a thank you to all of the supporters and booths that had come to the event, which included a large number of local services and organizations: Jill Vanderwood, the Hospital, Library, City of Malad, Mentally Fit, Oneida School District, Rachel Madsen, Oneida School District, the Crisis Center, Valley View Counseling, SICOG, Southeast Idaho Public Health, Labyrinth Services, Juvenile Probation, Health and Welfare, the Village, Shelby Blackner, the Senior Center, and more.

“There have been some great moments that have come from this over nine years,” Tyson Daniels said.  “There have been some tearjerking moments, and there’s also been opportunities for people to find support and resources for themselves and their loved ones.  It’s been a super empowering thing.”

The featured speaker for the evening was MaCall Smith, who was born and raised in Malad, where she graduated from school in 2018.  She then attended BYU and received a degree in Family Life and Family Studies.  Afterward, she studied at Utah Valley University to receive her Masters.  She is now a licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist.   Daniels introduced her by saying that even though she has moved away, “she still enjoys her weekend trips home to Malad, to breathe some fresh air, and simply see the world a little clearer from a small-town view.”

MaCall began by saying, “for those of you who might not know me, here’s a more personal introduction---if you know Landon, Raegan, or Paisley Smith, those are my younger siblings.  For you younger kids, if you know Miss Music, that’s my mom.  And then the most important thing you should know about me tonight is that my dad is the late Dustin Smith.  He died by suicide just a little over a year ago.  So this topic of suicide prevention and awareness is something that is really important to me as a clinician, but even more important to me as a daughter and a friend and someone who has experienced that loss.”

“I hope that as we’re here having big feelings about a topic that is really painful for a lot of people that we’ll just create some space for it.  If you are having some sadness about the topic, if you’re angry that we even have to talk about this—why is life so hard?  Or if you’re worried about something or someone I want us to have some space for that tonight.  Just recognize ‘ok, this is what I’m feeling.  This is what is going on for me.  And I just want you to recognize that, and know that it’s okay.  It’s okay to have those big feelings.  It’s okay to cry.”

“As I was thinking about this topic, it’s something that is hard for a lot of people,”  Smith said.  “So what can we do to help other people and ourselves to make sure that we are okay?”  Smith recounted an experience she had had where a close friend had attempted suicide.  Afterward, she reported feeling very helpless about the situation, and wondered what she could do for them or herself.  “I just felt helpless and hopeless.”  She attended training for basic life support for someone who is struggling.  

She then explained that the seminar replaced the acronym CPR with QPR as the basis for mental and emotional first aid.  “The Q is for Question.  The P is for Persuade, and then the R is for Refer.  Let’s say I have a friend…and I notice some things are off.”  Using the Q element, she would ask the person whether they are thinking about hurting themselves.  “Asking those questions seems really scary.  Especially to someone you love.  But by being that direct, that’s how you’re going to get them the help they need.”  If they respond that they are having those thoughts, then she says it is time to go on to P, to persuade them to seek out the kind of professional help that can help get them to a better mental place.  

The R step involves referring them to someone who has been trained to help get them the help they need.  The basic idea is that many people in a state where they are contemplating self harm feel that they are on their own, and no one cares about what they are going through.  While it can feel “bossy” to work through these steps, or an “invasion of privacy,” research is very clear that those contemplating suicide are often stopped in that process by expressions of concern—and most importantly offers to help—from those around them.  The Question part signals concern, and the Persuade and Refer stages communicate really effort at help.  It’s important to note that the process isn’t done until the person receives the help of a trained professional who has the resources needed to take over.  “The next time you’re worried about somebody, remember QPR,” Smith said.

She also reminded listeners that they needed to take care of themselves.  She talked about the terms “suicide survivor” and “loss survivor”.  The first refers to someone who has survived their own attempt, while a “loss survivor” has survived someone else’s.  The concept of “survivor” was one that Smith explained was the goal, though she noted that “it can be hard, really hard.  Being a survivor happens over time, not over night.  It takes a lot of hard work.”  She enumerated ways that survivors become what they are, and encouraged everyone in the audience to work at the kind of attributes that characterize survivors.

Afterward, Christine Smith led the walk to the Million Broken Hearts monument at the Cemetery, where the large crowd mingled solemnly and shared their thoughts about those whose signs lined the walkway, and many of those buried on the grounds.