Nothing is safe at our house right now.  We have three little boys, ok one is a teenager and not quite so little, that have begged to have their own pocket knives like dad.  Between babysitting, Christmas and birthdays, somehow they all have their own shiny multi-tool and belt toting pouch to keep them in and I’m just not so sure how we got to this point.  The teenager, yes, I’m on board with outfitting him with some tools that will help him be more useful.  But the recently turned five year old.. we must be crazy.  Before anyone falls into the state we are in, let me share a few little nuggets that we have learned when you give a ranchkid a pocket knife.

First, like I said earlier, nothing is safe.  It seems that everything is begging them to try that little blade out.  From just random pieces of paper to the box of your most recent packages to the first stick they see, they just have to start slicing it all up.  And somehow they don’t see the trail of destruction they leave behind as annihilated boxes, paper shreds and whittling shavings mark their owner’s territory.  I don’t know if it is some sort of premonition or warning but my greatest fear is finding one of my knife-toting little boys carving his name into the wooden baseboards or window trim that is just his height and so inviting.

Next, if they insist on wearing their new multi-tool in the very cool new pouch on their belt, make sure that belt is cinched up as tight as possible, for two reasons.  Between the belt and the tool, those pants are going to weigh ten times as much as usual and are highly likely to sag straight off their ranchkid rears.  And secondly, if that belt buckle isn’t on good and tight, it isn’t the pants that will bounce off, it will be that new little tool filled pouch.

Which leads me to my next lesson- if you are going to buy a forgetful, carefree, inattentive, neglectful five year old a pocket knife, make it a cheap one.  It won’t be long before he sets it down somewhere or it slips out of a pocket or falls off of his belt.  The loss will be much less painful for you if you haven’t put in a large investment.  He will still be devastated, but at least you are somewhat prepared.

The minute you find your ranchkid digging up rocks or cutting in the dirt (or cutting the dirt...), you will be grateful you didn’t spend even an extra nickel on their shiny new knife.  If they manage to not lose it right away, that fun new tool will take a beating, literally, because even though there isn’t a hammer tucked up inside there next to the can opener, it will be used like one.  Trust this all too experienced mama...

Now, I still can’t decide if it was better to buy the multi-tool or if we should have just stuck with a simple, plain-Jane pocket knife.  With the knife, I’m sure more things would have fallen victim to its blade, something we don’t need to tempt these already spellbound, curious little boys to.  But it seems that giving them a knife and pliers and screwdrivers and the like just leaves a bigger swath of destruction.  Sister’s dollhouse has screws, let’s take ‘em out with my new screwdriver!  Crackers for snack time, let’s see how many I can crunch with the pliers!  How many of these soup cans can we poke holes in with the can opener?! See what I mean?

After a day or two, your friends and neighbors might question if your kids have been wrestling the barn cats because I can almost guarantee that all that fun with their new knife will lead to scratches up and down their arms.  No matter how many times you teach kids the boy scout knife safety rules, they will still manage to cut themselves.  Here’s my advice- buy a large package of bandaids when you succumb to your insanity and buy a ranchkid a pocket knife.

Finally, expect your work to take a little bit longer now that you have equipped your little helpers with their own tools.  There is no twine you can cut, screws to pull out or fences to be fixed without them jumping in to help you work.  And really, that isn’t a bad thing after all.  Oscar Wilde said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” and it is in that moment of imitation that every ranch dad swells with pride as he sees his kids want to be like him.

We just might be mad for handing over wrecking gear to a kid that is sure to destroy them and everything is their path.  But for the chance to help them work and be just like dad, it is worth the little bit of crazy that we will have to endure.  There will be a day when a tool in their hand will be second nature and they will be able to build or fix anything.  And it will all have started with that long lost little pouch and multi-tool you were sure they were too small to have.